November 11, 2008
THE TREVI LIE
ROME -- An American man that was recently diagnosed with terminal brain cancer has made his last wish: to sue the city of Rome over false advertising. Legend has it that one who throws a coin into the waters of the Trevi Fountain will be guaranteed safe return to Rome later in life, a story that has grown in stature since Giuseppe Pannini's 1762 renovation.
Edward Bennigan, 83, threw his coin into the Roman fountain during a World War II deployment to Italy at 19 years of age.
"I was afraid of dying in the crossfire," he said, "so I threw in a coin. Stupid country of Rome never held up their bargain."
Now that he has been given less than 6 months to live, with treatment, Bennigan is taking the legal offensive. He first approached the Make-a-Wish Foundation but was rejected when they found out he was too old.
Elijah Finklestein, Bennigan's current lawyer, explained the multi-count suit, "The crux of our argument is is that Rome fraudulently induces tourists by unilaterally offering safe return to Rome for the placement of money in the fountain."
Roman lawyer's were on strike but A.S. Roma soccer star Francesco Totti was available for comment. "Mi pagherà per volo per Roma."
The Radish was unable to get a translation of this quote but intuition suggests that Totti actually said, "My package for only for Rome."
Editor's Note: Exacerbating tension is the fact that Rome takes the thousands of Euros a day and supports the unemployed--98.4% of the city's population--with the proceeds. Furthermore, this action has turned into a worldwide class action as many people have had issues with the city's many legends i.e. one man filed suit for not having his hand bitten off in the Bocca della Verita (Mouth of Truth) after telling a lie with his hand in said contraption. Lastly, Rome is no longer a nation but a city within the country of Italy, sorry Mr. Bennigan.
No comments:
Post a Comment