November 7, 2008
INTERNET -- 5 true news stories; 5 not so true captions.
An 8-year-old boy shoots father and another man with an AK-47. The lead detective already has a theory on the case despite not interviewing witnesses or investigating the crime scene. "From what I can tell, the boy was mad that his father was cheating on him with another man. I would be." The detective is a graduate of Phoenix University's School of Criminal Justice.
10-year-old concerned that Santa won't bring a gun for Christmas because Democrats hate the NRA. Father consoles boy by saying, "Don't worry, black people like Obama love guns too."
3) Stocks finish up after two days of heavy selling (MSNBC)
It was a good day at NYSE Greyhound Park, a dog betting track in downtown Manhattan.
4) Melissa Ethridge is Not Spreading the Wealth (IDLYITW)
Section 8 passes in California, banning same-sex marriage. Etheridge proceeds to play the field and keep money for herself. "That was a close one," she explained. "Tammy Lynn was about to get me without a pre-nuptial agreement." Oh, and she refuses to pay taxes.
5) Billups gives Nuggets stability, Iverson offers fire for Pistons (ESPN)
For fear of rising crime rates in Denver, NBA star Allen Iverson gets trade to the sanctuary of Detroit. "I am just glad to be in a city where there is no violence or practice."
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