THE BLACK HOUSE
CHICAGO--Michelle Obama once stated that her "[E]xperiences at Princeton have made me far more aware of my 'Blackness' than ever before," and that she would never fully assimilate into white, upper-class society because she was treated as "Black first and a student second." Apparently, this perspective endured the more than twenty years that have elapsed since she published her senior thesis at Princeton University.
When asked about whether she would burn her thesis since the day has seemingly arrived, she simply responded, "Never. I will never forget my roots as a poor black person. My father struggled as an engineer to make $40,000 a year to make sure that my stay-at-home mother could put family meals on the dining table. No, that thesis is like a footprint of wisdom on society."
The Radish then shamelessly prodded the soon-to-be First Lady about genocidal action towards white people. Mrs. Obama coyly replied by saying that wouldn't be enough restitution for the black race. What would be enough?
Well, upon entering office after being elected to run the country, she has vowed to paint the White House completely black. "Why should we refer to it as a White House? Why not a Black House?" She said.
This was an obvious allusion to John Wiley Price who, during a Texas County Commissioners' meeting, took offense to another commissioner's use of the term "black hole" in reference to the county collections offices' questionable accounting. Mr. Price aptly alerted his colleague that the use of racist phrases such as "black hole" were not to be tolerated in civilized society; neither was "devil's food cake."
Nonetheless, Michelle Obama is finally "proud to be an American" but she remains vigilant as there is always work to be done.
"I could have painted the White House the color of the rainbow but that wouldn't have gotten the message through. People would just think that I was supporting the gay rights movement or something. The fact that people would even assume that was the case is simply intolerant."
Of course, she is not oblivious to the fact that this move will alienate the political right.
"I know that some people aren't ready for this but those people are racists who believe every stereotype that they read."
Barack Obama could not be reached for comment as Michelle Obama quickly stood up and told this young, blonde, female reporter to mind her own "bid'ness" and that her man was 100% dark chocolate.
Isn't change sweet like white chocolate?
Editor's note: $40,000 a year in the late 1970's is worth barely over $100,000 a year in modern terms.
No comments:
Post a Comment