THE END OF THE ICE AGE
NASHVILLE -- In an effort to gain the upper hand in the global warming debate, Al Gore has set out to prove that the Ice Age never existed. Currently, leading hypotheses state that increased CO2 output from volcanoes and heightened ocean temperatures from underwater volcanoes caused the end of the Ice Ages--the most recent being the end of the Pleistocene approximately 10,000 years ago.
"If I can show that the Ice Age never existed, then the earth's natural climate variations are no longer a viable argument," Gore explained, "That leaves human activity as the culprit for 10-20° increases in average global temperature per year."
When confronted with actual statistics showing a 1.01 to 1.65 °F increase for the entire century ending 2005, Gore explained, "Whether we argue the numbers in Farenheit, Celsius, or Kelvin, the facts remain the same. Besides, Farenheit is a human construct that alone raised temperatures over 32° per centigrade."
So while experts criticize Gore for exaggerating facts, Gore has shifted the field of play in his favor.
"I am sick of people capitalizing on major political issues," Gore vehemently complained. "Films such as Ice Age and Happy Feet are corrupting our children, and making millions of dollars at the same time. To argue fact based on fiction is simply incredulous."
Editor's Note: Other studies actually show that greenhouse gases such as CO2 increase as a result of an rising global temperatures. So is it the chicken or the egg? Documentarian Michael Moore has already purchased the right to edit Gore's newest study, and prove that it was in fact the chicken.
No comments:
Post a Comment